Comments on: Mediation – Does it really work?? http://blendingin.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/mediation-does-it-really-work/ A blog about divorce, remarriage and the children caught in the middle. Sat, 02 May 2009 18:51:03 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Morocco http://blendingin.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/mediation-does-it-really-work/#comment-56 Morocco Tue, 05 Aug 2008 23:53:15 +0000 http://blendingin.wordpress.com/?p=101#comment-56 Your husband's ex sounds like my husband's ex. She too is carrying around loads of baggage and therefore can not focus on anything else. But I guess that peace has to come from within. Your husband’s ex sounds like my husband’s ex. She too is carrying around loads of baggage and therefore can not focus on anything else. But I guess that peace has to come from within.

]]> By: kindredspirits1960 http://blendingin.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/mediation-does-it-really-work/#comment-54 kindredspirits1960 Thu, 31 Jul 2008 21:51:33 +0000 http://blendingin.wordpress.com/?p=101#comment-54 I went through a series of mediations with my ex-wife to settle our divorce. The children were never the issue with her only money and material things. After mediating and supposedly settling our divorce she proceded to break several clauses in the divorce. When I had to take her back to court over this and the judge realized that she had gone against the mediated agreement he quickly ruled against her and awarded me a substantial amount. So mediation did help a little for me by giving me ammunition to use in court. The thing that amazes me in all of this is that she has never asked for custody of the children. I went through a series of mediations with my ex-wife to settle our divorce. The children were never the issue with her only money and material things. After mediating and supposedly settling our divorce she proceded to break several clauses in the divorce. When I had to take her back to court over this and the judge realized that she had gone against the mediated agreement he quickly ruled against her and awarded me a substantial amount. So mediation did help a little for me by giving me ammunition to use in court. The thing that amazes me in all of this is that she has never asked for custody of the children.

]]> By: CB http://blendingin.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/mediation-does-it-really-work/#comment-53 CB Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:33:43 +0000 http://blendingin.wordpress.com/?p=101#comment-53 As much as I am a fan of mediation in any other context, I have to agree that mediation in the family law context has the potential to be a big ole fat waste of time (and money, 'cuz mediators are NOT cheap). And this is coming from someone who has been trained as a mediator and has represented clients in mediation. The driving force behind mediation is getting the parties to realize what they have to lose if they go ahead and go to court. Problem with the family law context is that disputes are not necessarily driven by trying to accomplish anything in particular besides hurting and inconveniencing the other party, thus they really have nothing to lose besides the money being spent on mediation (and sometimes not even that, as my Ex thought he could make me pay for all his legal fees.... um, no). Mediation only works for RATIONAL people. I was worried about the possibility of trying to mediate my divorce settlement because I knew my ex was not trying to listen to anybody.... he wasn't listening to 3 lawyers telling him what he could and could not do, so why would he listen to a mediator? So yea... mediation is great in theory. But in practice.... sometimes not so much. As much as I am a fan of mediation in any other context, I have to agree that mediation in the family law context has the potential to be a big ole fat waste of time (and money, ‘cuz mediators are NOT cheap). And this is coming from someone who has been trained as a mediator and has represented clients in mediation. The driving force behind mediation is getting the parties to realize what they have to lose if they go ahead and go to court. Problem with the family law context is that disputes are not necessarily driven by trying to accomplish anything in particular besides hurting and inconveniencing the other party, thus they really have nothing to lose besides the money being spent on mediation (and sometimes not even that, as my Ex thought he could make me pay for all his legal fees…. um, no). Mediation only works for RATIONAL people. I was worried about the possibility of trying to mediate my divorce settlement because I knew my ex was not trying to listen to anybody…. he wasn’t listening to 3 lawyers telling him what he could and could not do, so why would he listen to a mediator?

So yea… mediation is great in theory. But in practice…. sometimes not so much.

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